Monday, October 27, 2014


Journeys

Through my whole life I've had my mom , dad, and three brothers. Two younger and one older. We have been through what some would think as unlikely, others will think, "well my life was some of the same as his." But the question is what have you done with what you experienced in life.
My brothers and I were in and out of Foster Care. My mom was an alcoholic, dad was abusive, and most of the time working on the road...
My father has been in prison as well. My brothers and I were in four different Foster Cares that I can remember. In the fourth grade we were in Foster care in a place where we are supposed to feel safe. I was sexually assaulted by my so-called seventeen-year-old "foster brother". My older brother, only in the seventh grade at the time, tried stopping it from happening. We tried reporting it and no one believed us.
At the age of eleven or twelve my mom quit drinking but by that time I had already quit caring. I already started drinking and getting high. I got put on probation at the age of twelve for vandalism of a historical monument. Thought that didn't stop me from any drug use. It actually got worse. The first time I tried hallucinogens was a the age of fourteen as well as pills. You can say that I picked up some bad habits. I also got arrested at fourteen for marijuana. I sat in J.D.C. got out and then ran away from home. Lived with a couple of college guys and my drug use gradually got worse.
At fifteen I dropped out of High School. My P.O. said that I was worthless and would end up in prison someday. Man she was right. I was very suicidal and depressed all through my teenage years. In other words a coward. I tried killing myself by overdosing, hanging myself and crashing my truck at eight miles per hour. Yet I am still alive. (Thank you God!) All because the Lord has a different plan for me. I didn't see it though.
At sixteen I got arrested and went through three different drug rehabs. Then I came to prison in February of 2009. Lost my mandatory parole and then had a change on C.T.P. in 2010. I came right back with a new felony all due to my drug use. It caused me to do what I did but in the long run I choose to use drugs in he first place.
I haven't been out of prison since. It's been four years. My own fault....I passed my initial parole two years ago because while I was in M.D.S.P. I was doing drugs and fighting constantly. I presented myself as a Christian when I was doing these things. Now I've been on the Hill for a little over two years. I have made a complete change. I've walked away from every fight that has come my way. I have  realized that it;s not worth it.
Through my family and I have been through Hell we are as close as ever. My mom and m dad have been married for twenty-four years now. I have two nephews and nieces. They all come to see me as soon as possible. I'd do absolutely anything for my family. I wouldn' t have made the changes that I have if I didn't have them.
My point is with all this that I've gone through is that I've realized I don't need to prove anything to anybody. And all that I've gone through made me a better person. God has shown me (guided) to pull a positive out of a negative. I can do that. That is why I am a S.T.A.R.T. member. 
My life may not be very different from others. Ive lived a very challenging life though it has made me who I am today; A very strong individual, respectful, kind, a man of values, and a man of character. I thank God for my life story, my journey  that made me a M.A.D. man.

Written By: Chris Campbell

Sinful Destruction

Since the age of fourteen, I have been a sex addict. My addition started and ended with pornography. I had opportunities to have sex, those I always refused, not wanting to become my father. This led me to justify my pornography addiction, "At least I am not hurting anyone," I often told my self, "its ok it's only in my head." I"I would never act upon these fantasies." For eight years, whether I was in a  relationship or not, my free time revolved around Pornography and fantasy.
I had conflicting feelings about Pornography on one hand I enjoyed it, the way it made me feel, always drifting and living in fantasy world. Whenever anything got tough Pornography was there to ease me. It brought me escape and joy, "It was my drug". Even though Pornography brought me pleasure, it brought me disgust in myself. After I entered a serious relationship, had kids, and got married, I was still trapped in my addition. No longer did it bring me much joy, but the need kept me addicted.
Pornography led to many fights, it led my wife to think she was not good enough. Ultimately, I allowed it to lead me to hurting my wife and my two children. At the age of thirty, after sixteen years of me choosing to led Pornography run My life, the storm finally hit and left nothing in its wake. 
The months leading up to this disaster, I was finally noticing how out of control I was. By this time, it was too late, or so I told myself, I was scared to ask my wife or anyone else for help. I was arguing with myself and, unknown to me at the same time I was arguing with God.
"I'm not hurting anyone..Pornography keeps me from hurting the ones I love."
"You need help." I told myself
"Your wife loves you and will help you." God told me.
"No, I can't....No, I don't want too."
For months, this went on; finally, God said, " I want to save you from sin." I have given you e very change: however I see that the hold it has on you is to strong." So he allowed the storm to hit, I was arrested. I lost my family and losing them, I lost  everything important to me. However, in jail God gave me friends, to help me and guide me. People who were facing the same thing as I was. Never once did God leave my side, slowly he led me to see through the pain. Through the guilt and remorse I felt. He showed me that this was more then Punishment.
What I did caused mt to lose my life. However, God took the opportunity to show me how I could save my soul.
If you are in prison, I hope this helps you to see that seeking help is the correct thing to do. There is help there, do not be afraid, like me because it can and will get worse if you do not.
Finally, if you are in prison know that it is not over, no matter your length of time, there is ways to better yourself if you try.  You can be presented with better paths of life to take.  You just have to be open to seeing them. "Just know it's never to late."

Written By: Christopher Hartford